Ok so everything was fine... until my 16th week of pregnancy. I was at work and felt like something poped and my pants got all wet. I thought i had pee'd myself. Heading for the bathroom I looked down and my pants were all bloody, I passed out. I woke up in the hospital and they said my placenta had seperated from my uterus, and wanted to abort the baby to stop the bleeding cause my blood pressure was droping. They took me in for a fast ultrsound to see where everything was and her heart was still beating so I refused the abortion. They tried to tell me that I could bleed to death. I still refused, believing my baby was a fighter. I stayed in the hospital for about a week and the bleeding stopped. She was still alive and all was welll. I was put on full bed rest, so I had to stop working, So in turn i lost my house and my car cause i couldnt pay for them. ( Kaitlyns father left while i was in the hopital ) I moved up north with my dad so he could take care of me. I saw a specialsit every two weeks and had a ultrasound every 2 weeks. At 30 weeks he said she was so strong that if he had not seen my file he would never of guessed what had happened. I moved back home and into my best friends house. 2 weeks later my water broke and we went to the hospital. About 6 hours into labor, out of no where they lost her heart beat and rushed me in for an emegency c-section. The knock out doc wasnt in the hospital so they held me down while they cut. He walked in shortly after that. When i woke up, they told me they could not rescitate her. I thought I had died. I gave up everything to have her, just to loose her anyway. I had an autopsy done on her and they could find no reason for any of it. I think that makes it harder. To not have a reason.... ya know??!! I felt as though my heart had been ripped from my chest. I could not eat,drink or even bath. My son is the one who pulled me back into reality one day about 4 months after I had her. He sat me down and asked me to come back to him and his sister, He missed me even though I was there. It killed me to know i had been that far gone. I pulled myself together and go a job and a new house I miss her every single day. Think about her. Wonder what she would have been like. And I still wonder why. I look at the scar on my tummy and it kills me. My other kids ask about her and talk about her too. It was so hard on them and I wasnt there for them because I just shut down. She would be 8 yrs old this month (11/24/2010) and it still kills me everyday. The day my Father died April 7th 2008 one of the last things he said to me was, He was going to find her and would hug her for me until I got there to do it myself. I dream of her still.